Author Archives: shelly

About shelly

Exploring the vast culinary jungles of the San Francisco Bay Area, and my own kitchen. Khaki shorts and safari hat optional.

the doppelgänger

There’s a theory which states that everyone has a double, an identical twin living somewhere. That’s not entirely true. Actually, it’s not at all true. The genetic possibilities for human DNA are endless, and the universe tends toward entropy, not … Continue reading

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regrets

A corpse in a copse decomposing Stares blankly at canopied sky. A corpse in a copse decomposing Has worms crawling into its thigh. A corpse in a copse decomposing Has no need for cunning or fear. A corpse in a … Continue reading

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lyrics to a song unwritten

death metal song Imperfect. Flawed. Shoot me in the head. Demented. Slack-jawed. Shoot me in the head. Lopsided. Deranged. Shoot me in the head. All wrong. Sub-par. Shoot me in the head. Seen better by far. Shoot me in the … Continue reading

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bacon is my spiritual path

Dear Pork, who art in heaven, Briny be thy Ham. Thy porchetta come. Thy chops be done On grills with a side of pappardelle. Give us this day our daily prosciutto, And forgive us our tofu, As we forgive those … Continue reading

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bits of conversation

Does life swallow you whole? Or do you make it what you want it to be? Sometimes it does swallow you whole. When shit happens, it’s not like someone is out to get you, to make you suffer. It just … Continue reading

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anthony bourdain’s medium raw challenge: my essay

Anthony Bourdain asked “why cook well?” Here’s my answer, on the Medium Raw Challenge site. (Argh, I’m not sure where my paragraph marks went. Do vote!) Anthony Bourdain’s Medium Raw Challenge

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misanthropy: a short short story

Sometimes the smallest interaction seems a chore. The very thought of making a phone call is exhausting. Pick up the phone, listen to the monotony of the dial tone, think of all the things I need to say to the person on the other side. The words drone on in my head, like the dial tone. The train of imaginary conversation makes me vaguely ill. Continue reading

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on writing: to what end?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all— The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase, And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin, When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall, Then how should … Continue reading

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cardamom hamantaschen cookies with kumquat walnut jam

No, that’s not a typo. Hamantaschen is a hybrid Hebrew-Yiddish-Persian word referring to cookies traditionally eaten by Ashkenazi Jews on the holiday of Purim. The holiday commemorates a particular, yet familiar, refrain in Jewish history: they tried to kill us, we won, … Continue reading

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tuscan porchetta trots into bay area

At the recent Winter Fancy Food Show, it was my pleasure to sample a number of delectable pork products, among them various hams and porchettas. One of my absolute favorites at this year’s show was Piacenti’s porchetta, imported by The Rogers Collection based … Continue reading

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